October 30, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Because I’m a realist. When my sons are older, they may be much more likely to talk to their teenage friends like this than to stodgy old Mom & Dad. And if they have friends who were also adopted, how cool would it be for them to share that experience, even if that sharing is completely unspoken. And if they’re not interested, at least I’ve presented the option. In my opinion, just to know from an early age that they came into this world and into their families just like many, many others is a priceless gift. Just like their life-long friends from our adoption playgroup.
I started our playgroup by contacting our adoption agency and asking if I could put an “adoption playgroup” announcement for our local area in their quarterly newsletter – they gladly let me. Word of mouth and emails to friends and family worked well, too. Our adoption playgroup meets once a month on the weekend. Honestly, the moms and dads get just as much or more out of the group than the kids do. It is so helpful to share tips on court proceedings, getting social security numbers, deciding whether to expand one’s family through adoption of a second child, and any other adoption related issues that may arise. Every month the whole family looks forward to seeing some of our most special friends, parents and kids alike. Often, the parents don’t talk about adoption at all, but that unspoken knowing and special bond is a uniquely comforting presence throughout our time together. I am so lucky and thankful to be part of such a special playgroup!
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October 26, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Quick Fashion Outburst: If I had a girl, she would own this dress. LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Hanna Andersson has some of the cutest clothes out there – I admit I’m a bigger fan of their girls’ line than their boys’ line, so its lucky that I have a niece.
I have to get her this dress.
Instead, I’ll be shopping for a perfectly respectable shirt like this for fall/winter. Lucky to be a mom, thrilled to shop, but nonetheless…a rugby shirt is no little red dress 
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October 21, 2009 | Posted by Pam
True Story: A few years ago, my mail carrier complained that I received too many magazines. I wanted to point out to her that I was keeping her gainfully employed in this new fangled electronic age, but honestly, she was right. When I first became a mom, I wanted to read everything and anything about parenting and running a terrific household while looking hot. I subscribed to (but could not possibly read) Parents, Parenting, American Baby, Cookie, Traditional Home, Highlights, Better Homes & Gardens, Country Living (I’m in suburban California, people!), Self and Fitness. In conjunction with my usual US Weekly & Lucky magazines, this probably was weighing down her mail sack by one too many ounces…possibly pounds. In reality, I really only needed 3 magazines: a fashion/fun magazine, a parenting magazine and Adoptive Families magazine. 
I love this magazine – it is such a wonderful resource for so many different types of adoptive families. Every issue makes me laugh, tear up and stop and reflect upon new ways of seeing adoption. Practical Tip: Buy a few binders, label them “school,” “adolescence” and “miscellaneous adoption articles.” Keep a 3-hole punch handy, and tear out particularly useful articles for later reference! When the “family tree” project comes calling in elementary school, I’ll be armed and ready with lots of information from Adoptive Families magazine!
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October 18, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Ok, so it might have been mildly cute to watch kids trick-or-treat before you had children of your own. Or, like me (confession time!) – you’d work late to avoid all the bell ringing, candy handouts and general craziness. But, now that I’m a Mom with a capital M, things are SO different! Discussion of the year’s costumes starts months in advance – who knew there were so many considerations – the mask, the weather, the scariness factor… And if your guys & gals are still babies, I say take them trick-or-treating to your neighbors’ homes even if they can’t walk yet! You will remember it forever, and your neighbors will be thrilled to see your cutie pies, too. For boys, you can NOT beat this Chewbacca costume (from the movie Star Wars ‘course).
The only downside is that it set a cuteness standard that’s been hard to live up to ever since! Here’s my older son on his first Halloween – let the force be with you!
And for girls, one of my absolute faves is this super cute pumpkin costume, modeled here by one of my friend’s darling daughters, Amelia. I love the hat with the vine and leaf detail – makes for a darling photo op in a pumpkin patch, too!
I’ve found quite a few costumes on Ebay. And Gymboree (try search word costume) is one of my favorite haunts for Halloween costumes as well. Enjoy the planning, shopping and treating!!
Categories: Clothing, Holidays | Tags: | No Comments »
October 9, 2009 | Posted by Pam
So with the bad press that adoption sometimes gets, let’s not forget at least a few of the really fun things about the process (other than the big obvious one!).
1) If you qualify, the federal adoption tax credit is huge. I know taxes and fun don’t usually go together, but a nice refund surely counts as fun. See the IRS’s website for more info.
2) I don’t know anyone who has wanted to adopt a child who has not eventually done just that. Cool beyond words.
3) An adoptive mom will not gain any pregnancy pounds. I walked into my first pediatric visit with our first two day old son, the doctor took one look at me, and said “you did not just give birth to that baby.” I will savor that moment, especially on days like today when I’ve had too much chocolate.
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October 6, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Once I stopped working outside the home and became a full-time mommy, it slowly dawned on me that I was really missing one thing from my former job (besides the cash). My business cards. In my new mommy life, I was lucky to meet so many other cool moms at playgrounds, splash parks, bounce houses … you know, the haunting grounds of us toddler/preschoooler moms. But when it was time to say goodbye, we’d find ourselves scrambling for an old receipt to jot our names and phone numbers on so we could schedule a future playdate. Enter Mommy Business Cards.
You can find some cute and very affordable Mommy Business Card designs at Vista Print. These two pictured here are some of my faves from Vista Print (search for “Mommy” and you’ll see tons of designs to choose from). And the Pear Tree Designs collection is darling, too. You, too, deserve business cards! (And a facial and shopping trip, but that’s a post for another day…)
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October 1, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Seriously, of course you’re going to have a baby shower! You’ve got to celebrate this super event, the glory that is you as a mom, and you’ll receive lots of neat stuff from your super excited friends and family, too. The tricky part is when to hold a shower. The choices fall into 3 basic categories:
1) Wait until the baby comes home and throw the shower as a “shower me with love and meet my new baby” shower. People will love seeing you (yet you’ll probably be happily upstaged by your little one!) Downside: You might go months without all the cute stuff you wanted on your registry and will have to rush around to get it in order while suffering from lack of sleep from nighttime feedings.
2) Throw the shower during the “wait” to adopt before a “match.” This will give you plenty of time to register and decorate your dream nursery. Obvious downside: Your house will be filled with baby stuff sans baby – sad? You decide.
3) Throw the shower after you’ve announced you are adopting and after you’ve been “matched” with a birthmom or child. This will provide you with specific answers to all the usual questions – when’s the baby coming? where? how’d you find him? Downside: The match and placement might happen instantly, and you’d miss your planned shower window entirely. Also, the match process can be a bit intense & busy at times. Will you be in the mood?
I went with option 1 (the shower after the baby arrives). In retrospect, although this is darn easy to say now that we have kids, at times I wonder if I should have gone with option 2 (shower after we’ve announced we’re hoping to adopt) so I could get everything ready in advance. The best part of all may be picking out the shower invitations. I absolutely ADORE the baby shower invites at Pear Tree Greetings. One of my favorites is this darling mobile themed invite.
Oh, and don’t forget to register!!! You are super deserving of an extra special day whatever option you choose!
Categories: Adoption Related, Announcements, Baby Shower | Tags: | No Comments »
September 28, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Katherine Heigl (star of the hit movie Knocked Up - ironic) and her husband, Josh Kelly, recently adopted a baby girl! How cute is this ?!?!? (If my next mommy and me pictures don’t turn out like this – I will be SO disappointed). Their new daughter, Nancy Leigh, was adopted from Korea and is 10 months old. They announced their adoption on her foundation’s website.
Congrats to the new family!
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September 27, 2009 | Posted by Pam
I couldn’t get my children interested in any of the “usual suspects” in the young kids adoption book genre (Ms. Curtis and Choco – you know who you are). Maybe it was gender – the boys just weren’t interested in hearing the miracle of our family’s formation, even if told in fable form or involving animals. Honestly, they just wanted to read Scooby Doo, an epic battle involving monsters or those darn Skippy Jon Jones books. Heaven forbid we talk about something loving and emotional – men start young, don’t they?!?! But, then I got clever. 
I found a book that you can customize about your child, your family, your life! Adopt Shoppe has wonderful, fully customizable books that allow you to tell your child’s story in your own way with just the right pictures and words. I couldn’t believe you could get all of that for just $30 (or $60 for the more customized version). Way too cool. Hits ‘em right where it counts – the ego. A joy to make and read, and to save as a family treasure.
Categories: Adoption Related, Books | Tags: | No Comments »
September 25, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Let’s talk diaper cream. (Ahhh..the old days, where the only cream I worried about was whether I’d get my free Happy scented lotion sample at the Clinique sale at Macys). No, really, let’s do talk about diaper cream. Ok, so whoever thought diaper cream was best served in a squeeze tube may not have tried to wipe it on a dirty baby bottom in the middle of the night. Result – hands covered in greasy goo (or worse) that is difficult to remove with a regular hand washing. Enter the Petkin Rash Stick. 
I admit I can’t always find it in stores where I live, but it is so worth a mail order. I can’t tell you how many messy fingernails and dirty tissues I’ve avoided with the Rash Stick. It turns upward like a deodorant stick, and releases just the right amount of diaper rash cream. Simply press onto the baby’s bottom, and voila. It works, I’ve never had any problems with it, and I’m actually totally out right now, which is what prompted me to pass on this tip of the day – order in bulk!
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September 23, 2009 | Posted by Pam
I thought so. If you’re an adoptive mom, you might be missing out on a few free offers. My sister phoned me a few months into my parenting experience and asked if I wanted some extra formula coupons that she received in the mail. So my curious mind started to whirl – how did she get baby coupons in the mail? Were there other things she received that I wasn’t aware of – there were! I asked my sister how she had gotten on the “I’m going to be a mommy soon” list – she wasn’t sure. Lacking Sherlock Holmes, the best we could piece together was some combination of hospital registry or OB/GYN programs. So, here’s the fruit of my “free baby stuff” research. Enjoy!
Free 6 Issue Subscription to “American Baby” Magazine
Free Diaper Bag & Goodies from Enfamil
Babycenter.com’s “Free Stuff and Great Deals” List. Tons of links to lots of freebees.
Free Offers and Promotions from Similac
Gerber’s Coupons and Booklets
Parents Choice Formula Sample
Free Huggies Diaper Sample
Earth’s Best Baby Food Coupons & Offers I hung their feeding chart on my fridge – loved it – it is free to print on their website.
Categories: Adoption Related, Feeding, Free Stuff & Deals, Potty Time | Tags: | No Comments »
September 22, 2009 | Posted by Pam
So I found myself in the unfortunate position of being in the ER the other night with my husband and one of my sons. Important point: Everyone is JUST FINE! He was having some respiratory issues, and with all the swine flu (nay, H1N1) news, I wanted him to get checked out. Luckily he just has a bad cold and is on the mend.
But one of the first questions the doctor asked was, “Does he have any family history of asthma?” And even though we had a plethora of information from our son’s amazing birthmom (with whom we spent a great deal of time together pre-birth) we didn’t really, really know the answer. It’s terribly difficult to think back, at times like this, and recall information that you reviewed (honestly probably once) during the adoption process years ago.
And is “family history” like this really set in stone, and therefore relevant? For instance, we all have an in-law who one might say was suffering from an emotional disorder due to a total and complete lack of social etiquette and interpersonal skills.
I suppose it would be helpful to know for sure, but often times I imagine it is difficult to dissect truth from fiction even among biological family members.
So, we respond to the terrific doctor. “Not that we’re aware of, but he was adopted, so we’re not quite sure.” And that’s the truth. Does this change his prognosis or treatment? No. And does this make us worry even one iota more about his speedy recovery? No. Does it make me wish we gave birth to him so we knew 100%? Yes. Would I change the circumstances of our becoming a family, or our particular chosen child, ever? Not on your life. And do I wonder the next morning whether he’ll grow to have asthma? Yes, just a little. But I promise you one thing, that’s what makes us all moms, adoptive, biological or somewhere in between. Worry. The Hallmark of Mommyhood.
Categories: Adoption Related, Hospital | Tags: | No Comments »
September 22, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Let the force of the See Kai Run shoe be with your toddler. When your new walker is too big for crib shoes, or when you need something just a bit sturdier, its time to try See Kai Run. They blend fashion with ease of use perfectly. And their sandals are to die for – covered toe, and somehow, they seemed to help my coordination-challenged son keep an upright posture for just a little longer when he was learning to walk.
Both of my sons lived, and I mean lived in these shoes in the 6-12 month age range. And the velcro closure made them even more appealing since you know your 1-3 year old will be taking them on and off, and on and off, and on and off . . . And I am not even going to look at the amazingly cute girls shoes on the See Kai Run website, lest the “just one more baby” thoughts start up. (If my husband is reading this post, I’m just kidding about the one more of course 
)
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September 18, 2009 | Posted by Pam
And so does this collection of T-shirts and other gifts from Cafe Press. Ranging from slogans like “Superman Was Adopted” to “Sorry to Have Kept You All Waiting,” if you visit the site you’ll be sure to get a chuckle and a few items might even bring a tear of joy to your eye. One of my favorite slogans on the Cafe Press t-shirts (or bibs or onesies!) is this one:
Enjoy this amazing collection!
Categories: Adoption Related, Clothing, Gifts | Tags: | No Comments »
September 15, 2009 | Posted by Pam
Anyone with a preschooler has probably read the parent teacher handbook and grimaced when it said “all of your children’s clothing must be labeled.” I know I didn’t want to handwrite my child’s name on every piece of clothing my clothes-horse 4 year old owns. And iron-on labels were out of the question (I honestly don’t even know where my iron is!). So, I found the best, washable, preprinted clothing labels ever at Lovable Labels.
They are fully machine washable, and stick on like stickers! You order them online, customize with your child’s name, and even pick a neat design element to boot for the pre-reader set. They have them for shoes, too. I’ve washed mine many times, and they really do work. I even put them on my child’s lunchbox!
Practical tip: Consider using your family’s last name if you have (or might be planning for) more than one child. That way labeling of hand-me-downs will be done before the second one even starts preschool!
Categories: Clothing | Tags: | No Comments »
September 14, 2009 | Posted by Pam
We all know we’re proud of the fabulous ways our families came together, and for adoptive families, there will be some days when you are anxious to tell anyone who will listen about your family’s entire adoption story from start to finish. But most days you are just your family, a la carte.
Unless you go to have your child’s hair cut. Now maybe you’re amongst the group whose children have the exact same hair type as their adoptive parents. Or maybe, like me, you’re not. This was one issue I didn’t see coming. Me and my hubby: straight, fine hair, black for him, light blonde (thanks to highlights) for me. Our sons: one straight-haired redhead, and one with thick curly light brown hair. So I take the curly-headed one in for a haircut. The hairdresser starts snipping away. Looks from him to me, then back to him, to my husband. You can see the wheels turning in her head. Then she says “where’d he get that curly hair from?” Me: “what?” She repeats herself. Me: “Oh, who knows. Recessive gene.” I don’t even know what that means – I am so not a science person.
She looks at me, and she knows what I have failed to say. I’m not sure how I feel about this. But one thing’s for sure, both of my sons are super proud of their outstanding hair, and one day, they’ll know and understand. And one day, maybe for fun I’ll get a perm and dye my hair red.
Categories: Adoption Related, Hair | Tags: | No Comments »
September 14, 2009 | Posted by Pam
I swear to you, one of the strangest moments of my life occurred when I was in the hospital about to take home our first son. The hospital’s lactation consultant (excuse me? Who wants to consult me about what?) came up to me and informed me that adoptive moms can also breast feed their babies. She explained that the act of repeated pumping and sucking will, by itself, stimulate milk production. She explained that this was how wet nurses and moms on extended nursing programs keep producing milk long after pregnancy. If there had been a little thought bubble over my head, it would have read “I think this woman is insane, and I’d like her to stop talking about my milk production capabilities.”
She gave me some type of pump, and what appeared to be essentially a beer hat type of device that used tubes to run formula down to my, well, nipples so that baby would “latch on.” She gave me her card, told me to call with any questions, and sent me on my way with a huge bag of free lactation prizes. Did I try it? Yes. Did it work for me? No. It all just seemed a little, well, weird, to me. And many nights of bottle warming ensued in my home….. Why discuss it? For those of you who want to give it a go, now you know its an option and more power to you. For those who don’t , buy a bottle warmer, some BPA-free bottles and enjoy your bonding while feeding guilt-free.
Categories: Adoption Related, Feeding, Hospital | Tags: | No Comments »
September 14, 2009 | Posted by Pam
When I was looking for adoption announcements, I had trouble finding something that announced our child’s birth that honored the amazing way our family came together, while still being trendy and stylish. And yes, there’s internet, email, Facebook and everything in between, but when it comes to your new addition, nothing gets your friends’ and family’s excitement level up more than good old fashioned printed stationery delivered to their mailbox. Somehow a paper announcement gives everyone that “pinch me I can’t believe it’s real but now I know it is” feeling.
For international adoptions, the wonderful designers at Tiny Prints have come through yet again. Check out their entire page of adoption announcements.
One of my favorites is this one:
You can also customize these announcements to be used for domestic adoptions too (although it would be even more user-friendly if both types of adoptions were portrayed on the “adoption announcements” page).
And for domestic (or international) adoptions, don’t you just love this broad variety and selection from Baby Cachet Paper and Design? This is one of the biggest collections of adoption related announcements I’ve seen – be sure to notice at the bottom of each page that you can continue to browse through 4 full pages of adoption announcements. My favorite is probably this one: Smiley Baby Boy – the die-cut baby boy’s head is too too cute!
When I did my announcements, I also included a one page letter which summarized our adoption journey and included a few pictures from the hospital, travels, etc. Together it was the perfect way to announce our baby’s arrival and tell out-of-the-loop relatives or friends about the journey that led us to this amazing day. With or without the letter, savor the shopping, mailing and excited-telephone-calls-to-follow!
Categories: Adoption Related, Announcements | Tags: | No Comments »
August 11, 2009 | Posted by Pam
I decided to start this website, well, because I was just plain tired of looking for information for my adopted kids in a sea of child-related stuff that often didn’t fit my needs or theirs. Yes all babies do have certain basic needs (and some more than others). Yet ever the perfectionist, I wanted to find a website that was just the right fit for me and my family. You know, a place that didn’t involve pregnancy photos, nursing bras and baby albums with pages like: “when you found out you were pregnant.” And don’t get me wrong – those are wonderful things – but us busy-like-everyone-else adoptive moms don’t have time to sort through the entire internet for tips that fit our not-so-unique families. We’re just like everyone else, only better (ok, just kidding on that last part), only we didn’t happen to give birth to our children. We love them just as much, worry about them just as much and if you’re like me, are excited beyond words to find just the right item or helpful tip to make their lives (and ours!) more convenient, safe, exciting, stylish and fun.
My husband and I adopted our two boys domestically as newborns, and I’m just one of the giddiest moms out there. Yet I didn’t know when to hold a baby shower, where to find invitations without pregnant bellies or the ubiquitous stork on them, how to deflect the occasional glare when I bottle fed my baby in public, or who to ask. So I decided someone (and why not me!) should make it easy and a bit more lighthearted. As our pediatrician told my husband and me, both terrified at our first ever pediatric visit, (which occurred two days after we even knew our son existed) “the baby’s perfectly healthy – but you two must relax and just enjoy these moments.”
Adoptive Moms Vault. Adoption Friendly. Cute. Chic. Normal. Fun. And yours to visit whenever you like. Welcome. Email me with any suggestions or comments. And Congratulations wherever you are in the journey.
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Movie and television star Jon Cryer (Two and A Half Men, Pretty in Pink, and lets not forget Superman IV, the Quest for Peace) and his wife adopted a baby girl, born August 11, 2009. Her name is Daisy – they haven’t released any more details yet. I am ashamed to admit that I want to ask all those “family building” questions I’ve previously compained about when I was the recipient (where was she born? how did they meet the birthmom? open or closed adoption? why adoption? was this the first match? how long did they wait? what does she look like? and on and on and on…). Ahhh…privacy. Enjoy and Congrats!
Boy or girl, one of my favorite toys is this 
The grip doesn’t wear out, and they don’t shrink like some others I’ve tried. Maybe the best sock I’ve found so far. Now only if I could keep the pairs together….
They have this book in a variety of patterns, and of course pink and blue for your little girl or boy. I had high hopes that I would fill out every page of my baby book the week the baby’s new “event” took place. That didn’t quite end up being the case, but I’m thrilled to have captured at least some of the wonderful moments and milestones from our childrens’ first year.